Apple? Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily? Kyd? Moon Unit? Diva Muffin? Satchel? Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q? Or should we go for something more original?

We’ve started thinking about baby names, mostly for a girl because we’re convinced that’s what we’re having, and it’s tricky. The child’s going to be stuck with it for the rest of its life so it’s a pretty big deal.

People get really passionate in their opinions of baby names so we’ve decided that once we pick a name we won’t tell anyone until the baby’s born – that way they can’t disapprove (at least not to our faces).

PICKING A NAME IS A TRICKY BUSINESS:
1. Rule out all names you associate with anyone you don’t like.
2. Always keep the surname in mind.
3. Consider all possible nicknames.
4. Make sure it’s not too common.
5. Make sure it’s not too unusual.
6. It can't be “too old” for a baby or “too childish” when they grow up.
7. Don’t “steal” you friends’ favourite baby names.
8. Pick a name that you’d be happy to have.
9. Don’t ask anyone’s opinion (they’ll probably give it to you).
10. See what name suits the baby when it arrives.

MOST POPULAR BABY NAMES IN IRELAND 2009
(Central Statistics Office, 31 August 2009)
Here’s a list of the names topping the polls in Ireland last year in case anyone, like me, is in need of some inspiration.

BOYS
NAME COUNT
Jack 1,141
Sean 963
Conor 847
Daniel 819
James 733

GIRLS
NAME COUNT
Ava 685
Katie 663
Sarah 645
Emma 631
Emily 596

TAKE THE CELEB BABY NAMES QUIZ:
Which celerities are responsible for these outrageous names?

1. Apple & Moses
2. Coco
3. Pixie, Peaches & Fifi-Trikibelle
4. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
5. Brooklyn, Romeo & Cruz
6. Lourdes, Rocco, David Banda
7. Kyd
8. Moon Unit & Diva Muffin
9. Sparrow
10. Maddox, Pax, Shiloh Nouvel, Knox Leon & Vivienne Marcheline
11. Suri
12. Satchel
13. Sunday Rose
14. Prince Michael, Paris, Blanket
15. Memphis Eve, Jordan, Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q & John Abraham.

ANSWERS: 1. (Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin) 2. (Courtney Cox & David Arquette) 3. (Bob Geldoph & Paula Yates) 4. (Paula Yates & Michael Hutchence) 5. (David & Victoria Beckham) 6. (Madonna) 7. (David Duchovney) 8. (Frank Zappa) 9. (Nicole Richie) 10. (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie) 11. (Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes) 12. (Woody Allen & Mia Farrow) 13. (Nicole Kidman) 14. (Michael Jackson) 15. Bono.

SCORES:
10-15 Tragic. You need to get out more.
6-10 Well done! You have demonstrated a healthy knowledge of useless information.
0-6 Where have you been hiding?

Oh no, I’ve just realised – it’s probably going to need a middle name too!